You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Randomize
