you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
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i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
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Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
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