It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
