Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Randomize
