was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
We were destined to go to rehab together
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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