So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
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