you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
