Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
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