I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize