the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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