You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I think I am morally bankrupt
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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