What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
