Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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