My nipple is on Facebook.
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
there is another microwave in the elevator.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize
