How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
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