just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
