just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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