WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
