just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
