WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
