How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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