Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
