when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
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He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
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He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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