this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
