I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
