I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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