He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Randomize
