Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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