she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
