I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
