what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
