'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
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It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
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