my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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