More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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