So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
