my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
