She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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