Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize