Pants 0. Shit 1.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
