I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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