my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Come share oat with me in your robe
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
