Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
