That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
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