You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
