I puked a lego.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
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