Texts From Last Night

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  (989): View more from Michigan

  i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed

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  (989): i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed http://tfl.nu/j2ib
  Replies (3) Good night (793) Bad night (1148)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.

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  (647): a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much. http://tfl.nu/8vwu
  Replies (79) Good night (4249) Bad night (852)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.

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  (330): Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt. http://tfl.nu/yvoh
  Replies (10) Good night (1826) Bad night (4264)
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.

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  (719): If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks. http://tfl.nu/p2ad
  Replies (25) Good night (4741) Bad night (1026)
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked

  (1-812): View more from Indiana

  tasteful.

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  (812): it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked (1-812): tasteful. http://tfl.nu/syjz
  Replies (17) Good night (4504) Bad night (1434)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems

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  (202): just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems http://tfl.nu/fumh
  Replies (4) Good night (3294) Bad night (1062)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian

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  (503): Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian http://tfl.nu/9eu3
  Replies (30) Good night (6916) Bad night (2890)
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  (906): View more from Michigan

  nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life

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  (906): nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life http://tfl.nu/phhm
  Replies (7) Good night (4002) Bad night (1418)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.

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  (402): 21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion. http://tfl.nu/915q
  Replies (6) Good night (3592) Bad night (799)
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  (914): View more from New York

  my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.

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  (914): my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person. http://tfl.nu/80cc
  Replies (41) Good night (5799) Bad night (1015)
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  (928): View more from Arizona

  So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.

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  (928): So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something. http://tfl.nu/zx0n
  Replies (9) Good night (1343) Bad night (505)
• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  "I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..

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  (802): "I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked.. http://tfl.nu/jof4
  Replies (4) Good night (832) Bad night (436)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame

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  (727): I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame http://tfl.nu/nqk0
  Replies (6) Good night (1418) Bad night (357)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was

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  (850): Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was http://tfl.nu/vhsw
  Replies (6) Good night (850) Bad night (281)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?

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  (201): Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh? http://tfl.nu/8f9v
  Replies (1) Good night (422) Bad night (296)

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