Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt

  (702): View more from Nevada

  maybe shoes and water too

  (702): View more from Nevada

  oh and maybe a noose to hang myself

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  (702): can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt (702): maybe shoes and water too (702): oh and maybe a noose to hang myself http://tfl.nu/qxrs
  Replies (8) Good night (842) Bad night (2700)
• Favorite

  (740): View more from Ohio

  i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina

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  (740): i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina http://tfl.nu/02ir
  Replies (35) Good night (679) Bad night (4631)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Are you okay?

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.

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  (908): Are you okay? (508): Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry. http://tfl.nu/ztu1
  Replies (19) Good night (3229) Bad night (616)
• Favorite

  (205): View more from Alabama

  One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.

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  (205): One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum. http://tfl.nu/g2t8
  Replies (18) Good night (988) Bad night (2881)
• Favorite

  (254): View more from Texas

  oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.

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  (254): oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all. http://tfl.nu/jllt
  Replies (26) Good night (774) Bad night (3641)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.

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  (440): Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan. http://tfl.nu/6sdz
  Replies (8) Good night (3414) Bad night (716)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january

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  (720): I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january http://tfl.nu/n365
  Replies (18) Good night (6293) Bad night (989)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?

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  (512): Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over? http://tfl.nu/e898
  Replies (11) Good night (3444) Bad night (2380)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met

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  (716): She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met http://tfl.nu/xjfv
  Replies (10) Good night (773) Bad night (4614)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.

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  (630): seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine. http://tfl.nu/6ynv
  Replies (6) Good night (2080) Bad night (1343)
• Favorite

  (563): View more from Iowa

  Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.

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  (563): Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience. http://tfl.nu/j0u8
  Replies (6) Good night (3327) Bad night (681)
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.

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  (801): Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away. http://tfl.nu/018f
  Replies (8) Good night (1568) Bad night (692)
• Favorite

  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all

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  (321): Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all http://tfl.nu/j4ja
  Replies (8) Good night (1394) Bad night (520)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.

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  (832): You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life. http://tfl.nu/rg4t
  Replies (3) Good night (1097) Bad night (459)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.

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  (734): I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete. http://tfl.nu/xnhl
  Replies (5) Good night (253) Bad night (572)

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