Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (+44): View more from England

  if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed

  (+44): View more from England

  keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+44): if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed (+44): keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction http://tfl.nu/lbnu
  Replies (18) Good night (4748) Bad night (705)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (817): matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere. http://tfl.nu/fb8z
  Replies (6) Good night (2396) Bad night (857)
• Favorite

  (989): View more from Michigan

  you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (989): you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out http://tfl.nu/f2m2
  Replies (24) Good night (1109) Bad night (5850)
• Favorite

  (270): View more from Kentucky

  I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (270): I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die. http://tfl.nu/gibq
  Replies (12) Good night (1353) Bad night (5124)
• Favorite

  (347): View more from New York

  when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (347): when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign http://tfl.nu/d21d
  Replies (22) Good night (2969) Bad night (1577)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (301): Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras http://tfl.nu/fw4u
  Replies (11) Good night (2927) Bad night (748)
• Favorite

  (701): View more from North Dakota

  Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (701): Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover.. http://tfl.nu/al9t
  Replies (9) Good night (1697) Bad night (1087)
• Favorite

  (464): View more from Illinois

  He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (464): He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit. http://tfl.nu/lyxm
  Replies (10) Good night (2600) Bad night (771)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (612): It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course http://tfl.nu/673n
  Replies (2) Good night (1266) Bad night (528)
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (859): So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara. http://tfl.nu/jqcr
  Replies (13) Good night (966) Bad night (1564)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (401): He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together.. http://tfl.nu/x2kk
  Replies (3) Good night (1847) Bad night (853)
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (805): I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore. http://tfl.nu/x6ui
  Replies (3) Good night (890) Bad night (362)
• Favorite

  (510): View more from California

  I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (510): I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus http://tfl.nu/am4v
  Replies (5) Good night (710) Bad night (422)
• Favorite

  (479): View more from Arkansas

  But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (479): But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups. http://tfl.nu/j3mw
  Replies (1) Good night (414) Bad night (370)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (360): Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies. http://tfl.nu/t27r
  Replies (2) Good night (534) Bad night (403)

Randomize