We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
