Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
There's always time for handjobs
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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