actually, I'm a sock model
Where is the hickey?
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
