I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Randomize
