and you said cock pushups were impossible
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
