Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
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