You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
