you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Randomize
