So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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