I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
