After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Randomize
