my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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