craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
My boob is missing a layer of skin
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
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