He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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