So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Randomize
