My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
